Resume writing sampleHere's
A Critique of a Resume writing sample: Dear
Therese ~ As
requested, I used Design #6 for your resume and slanted it towards
employment in the Administrative / Clerical / Secretarial field. In your email, you describe yourself as a hard worker; therefore I wrote that you are “diligent,” adding that you are also detail-oriented (a must for any administrative support position). To ensure that you would be able to use this resume in a wide range of industries, while also emphasizing your healthcare experience, I wrote “…Administrative Assistant knowledgeable of all office functions, with a solid background in the healthcare field.” That covers all bases. The use of the title “Administrative Assistant,” rather than “Clerical Worker” or “Secretary,” was also deliberate as Administrative Assistants earn far more than either of the other categories. Free Online Resume Builder Tool: Use this tool to build a high quality resume in about ten minutes.
Resume writing sample critique (continued) In
your email I noticed that you wrote “Virginia Healthcare,”
for both your jobs. Even though your last position was different than
your first position, the employer is the same, therefore I listed the
name only once (combining your years there as 1995-Present), then
listed your job duties followed by the dates of that employment. In
this section, I also began each bullet point with the strongest action
verb possible, while also revising text for clarity, conciseness, and
maximum impact. For
example, in the information you submitted for this writing order, you
wrote: “Maintains
and manages a new tracking system that was implemented to better
organize the distribution of referrals to and from various medical
Clinics. This improved quality and efficiency of patient care. Resolved
a major problem of lapsed time for patients to be treated. I identified
the problem and took preventive action, with permission of my managers,
using my own intuition and creativity.” I
revised and condensed that to read: “Maintained
new referral tracking system that improved patient care; identified and
resolved problem of delays in patient treatment.” The
sentence is now better organized and to the point, much like your work
with NY Harbor. Resume writing sample critique: In
another example, you wrote: “Maintains
effective oral and written communication by engaging in conferences
with PM&RS staff to keep them informed of the status of patients
and distributes printouts from the computer. By starting this team
meeting with the clerical staff it help mend the communication problem
between therapist / doctors and clerical staff. It opened the door to
increase friendliness between staff members.” “Facilitated
communication between clerical staff and PM & RS by initiating
conferences and providing hard data on patient status.” Free Online Resume Builder Tool: Use this tool to build a high quality resume in about ten minutes.
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