Online Resume Sample

Here's a critique of an online resume:

Dear Monica,

Given your decision to enter the entertainment industry as a corporate attorney, I chose Design #11 to best serve your needs. It’s well organized, yet stylish, as befits your career change.

In your contact information, I did not include your fax number. Rarely, if ever, do hiring managers contact successful applicants by fax.

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Online resume critique:

In the body of the resume I opted for an Objective in which I wrote, “Seeking a Corporate Attorney position in the Entertainment Industry,” followed by a Qualifications section that indicates what skills you have to fulfill this career change.

In the Qualifications summary I described you as proactive and articulate, then listed where you are licensed to practice, including your eligibility for membership in the District of Columbia Bar. (Since hiring managers rarely read entire resumes, it’s best to get this information in as quickly as possible).

I then wrote of your co-founding a Connecticut law firm and your specializations in employment litigation and criminal proceedings. I ended this brief paragraph with your additional capabilities in legal research.

Online resume critique:

For the next section, I changed “Professional Experience” to “Legal Experience” in order to further interest a hiring manager. In this section, I began each bulleted sentence with the strongest action verb possible, while also revising text for clarity, conciseness, and maximum impact.

For example, you wrote:

“Represented court appointed indigent clients in all phases of criminal proceedings from probable cause hearings, competency evaluations, plea negotiations through trial.”

I revised that to read:

“Vigorously defended clients in all phases of criminal proceedings that included probable cause hearings, competency evaluations, plea negotiations, and trials.”

In another example, you wrote:

“Represented plaintiffs in all phases of employment litigation in The United States District Court for Connecticut and in mediations before The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.”

I revised that to read:

“Specialized in all phases of employment litigation practicing before the US District Court for Connecticut; mediated cases before the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission).”

Because of space considerations (the industry standard for a resume is one page except for senior executives with decades of experience) and relevancy issues, I did not include your LPN or Adjunct Professor jobs.

I ended your resume with the Education and Affiliations sections.

All decisions to modify data were in keeping with the guidelines and standards set forth by the Professional Association of Resume Writers (PARW).

With this resume, you now have a powerful tool that’s well organized and filled with pertinent data, while also being aesthetically pleasing.

It was a pleasure serving you, Monica.

Best of luck in all your future endeavors.

ResumeEdge Editor
Certified Professional.

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